The laughable "youth resources" (Particularly for girls)

Hello all readers! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our savior! :) I hope you were able to spend it with family and friends and that it was perfect no matter the circumstances! :)

Now! I need to rant a bit.

Have you ever been to the "youth resources" section of a Christian book store?

If you answered yes then you will totally understand this next line.

ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha! Oh! That just makes me laugh to tears!

If you answered no then continue reading for an explanation. (Then you can refer to the long line of laughter with understanding.)

Okay! The youth resources section of the Christian book stores is lacking so much! It is usually the smallest section in the store. But that is only one of the problems. Most of the books do not reach the heart or life of teens in any way! I can't speak for the books written for guys, 

but the books that are written for girls almost all start out with something like this... 

"This book for teen girls is to help you come closer to God in this stage of your life when you are growing up, your body is changing, and you are stuck between an adult and child." 

Okay! Let me start with the obvious. Your body is changing? ew! What the heck! This is really how you want to start the book? And almost all of them say this! That limits your audience to twelve year olds. And even when I was 12! No one wanted to read that stuff! Really. No part of me has "changed" in years. I am the same height and weight I was 4 years ago. And was growing up some horrible experience for the adults that write this? Because seriously, I was moody at 12 but that is about it. What about growing up traumatized these writers? There is something totally wrong about that. And here is the other thing wrong with this. Most of the time we teens don't feel "stuck" between an adult and a child. I have seen some parents that make their kids feel this way when the expect them to act like adults but treat them like children. So I totally get that! But that is not every teenager in America.

Moving on.

There are a few books for teen girls that don't start with stupid things like that. But they tend to focus on staying pure until marriage. And that is great! I totally agree! I think that sex should be saved for marriage because it's Biblical and in my own personal life I have decided to wait for marriage because I want my little sisters to do the same thing. But that is not the only trial teen girls face! What about drugs? What about the age old question of 'how far is too far'? What about friends who have different beliefs than you? What about building a foundation of your faith? What about when your personal convictions differ from your parents, and staying respectful to them with the differences? They seem to just breeze over these things.

And the things that so many of the books tell us girls things that just aren't true! In the Christian world dressing modestly is a HUGE thing! And I totally understand it. But please, do not explain the reason to dress modestly with stupid things like "The things you wear will affect guys thoughts." and "Cleavage revealing tops will only draw eyes and thoughts to one place." and "Men will not be able to control their thoughts and desires." What in the world! And I have heard this spiel so many times! So lets boil these reasons down to the source. You will get raped if you wear revealing clothes. You have got to be kidding me. And they don't say this outright but it is still instilled in so many Christian girls! I have been to the mall with Christian friends and heard these words "Oh you are just asking for trouble with that skirt." Come on! How about we look at the Biblical perspective of modesty and stop treating teen guys like monsters.

The view the Christian world has seem to taken on about teenage guys is so extremely unbiblical that it is scary. Men have their place, they think differently, they were created differently, they have a different purpose that God created them for. There is no double standard! They are just different standards! Making them out to be evil is honestly just plain wrong!

Teenage men are not horrible. They are not evil. They are not out to get you. And yet that is so how they are portrayed! I have had many teenage Christian friends of mine say they don't ever want to go on a date alone with a guy because they want to make sure that the guy doesn't take advantage of them. Really! Let me point out the obvious. If you have met a guy that you really think would rape you, DON'T GO ON A DATE WITH HIM! Most guys aren't going to do that! They are not all evil! (And this is why courting has become such a big deal. It really doesn't need to be! It is totally a person conviction thing.)

So really! What we need are resources that truly will affect the average teen. We need sources that don't become legalistic about dating. We need sources that don't belittle men! The Bible says over and over about going to fellow Christians for advice. And these writers have the opportunity to do this on a mass scale! But writing legalism and even some things that aren't Biblical it is just wrong!
If you have found something that is a good resource please email or comment and let me know!
I would love to read it!

ugh! There is so much more I can add! I believe I will blog more on this subject soon. This is just my opinion on my Christian teen girls resources. I will get into youth resources in general in another post.

(Now refer to the line of laughter. You get it now, don't you?)

Adoption Sunday

So this is a little holiday that most don't know about. It's not so much of a holiday as it is a day to remember. Remember what? Remember our call to take care of orphans. Adoption is such a gift from God. But let me get into my teacher mode (I am a big sister. I have a very prominent teacher attitude.) for a minute and share some statistics.

Over 130 million children have lost one or both of their parents. They are here in America, Ukraine, Africa, Peru, Germany, Mexico, France, you name the location! 130 million. But you see, that is just big number, right?

Even when I write out. . .

130,000,000

. . . it is still just a big number I can't wrap my mind around.

How about we think about it this way. The May Day Stadium is the largest football stadium in the world. It is located in North Korea. This thing is HUGE! Largest football stadium in the WORLD! And it can only hold 150,000. It would take 867 of those stadiums to hold all of the orphans in the world. Even with that it is hard to imagine.

Do you know how many people consider themselves Christians in the world? 2,039 million. 

That looks like:

 2,039,000,000.

So wait a minute! That's a bigger number than the first! Hold on here! Then that doesn't quite make sense! That would mean there is 1 orphan in the world for every 15 Christians.

Doesn't that make you wonder why there are still orphans in the world?

Here is another little orphan fact. Children age out of the system, weather adoption or foster care, at age 18. In some places younger. They go into the world without any support. They were raised without love and a family. They lack a solid foundation that only a family can give. Can you imagine when you were eighteen and moving out on your own or going to college and having no one to call and remind you of home? No one to encourage you to go after your dreams? In fact, in your whole life, you were never told that you could reach your dreams? It's not easy to live that way. Many of them end up involved in crime or commit suicide once they age out. Suicide rates are higher among teens who were not raised with parents than any other group of people. That statistic is true for EVERY culture. America and all over the world. And once they commit suicide who is there to cry for them? Who is there to miss their presence and personalities? Who loved them enough to miss them?
Everyone deserves someone to cry for them.

Now I want to make this point clear. I do NOT believe that everyone is supposed to adopt. Adoption is something that my family was called to. I have one sister who is adopted. And maybe our family will be called to adoption again. Maybe one day I will be called to adopt in my own family. I just don't know. But I do know that every Christian is called to take care of the orphans. If you have not been called to adopt support a family who is. I can say from experience (as a teenager involved in the process.) that an adopting family needs support both in the process and once they have the child at home. It is the churches (universal) job to provide that support. If  you can't adopt or even support someone financially and all you can do it say "Hey let me watch your kids while you go get paperwork done." that is amazing to parents who are adopting! One less stressful thing for an adopting couple.

I have seen the relief on my moms face! Trust me!

So my whole point to this post is that it is that everyone can and should take part in caring for the orphans.

Everyone needs a forever family and everyone deserves someone to cry for them.

CCT

Legalism - good works and faith

So the definition of Legalism is (according to dictionary.com)

Legalism - the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.

So good works is a good right! As the name implies! It can never hurt to do something good! You don't get in trouble for helping your brothers and sisters, you will never get fussed at for doing your homework too thoroughly, and you will never go to jail for helping a mom with her groceries! You just won't! But legalism teaches that those good things will get you to get to heaven. That is not what the Bible says! And in fact the Bible does talk about works quite a bit! As a Christian you have the desire to do good works! You just do! You want to spread and show God's love! But no matter how much you do that it can not guarantee your place in heaven! That has to be done with a relationship with God! 


But if you want to hear more about that you can email me (bloggeremailcowgirl@blogspot.com) Or you can comment and request a post about that. Right now I really want to talk about those of us who are Christians. 


Okay! So picture this! 
You are that person that anyone could count on! You never turn your phone off in case a friend needs to talk. You never say no and you are involved in everything everywhere. You are constaly volunteering to help with stuff and take on more than you know what to do with! You are a supporter and friend to everyone! And that begins to become what you are known for. You do unnecessary tasks just because it could help someone out! 
And you fall into a pattern of waking up each day with these goals. 
Great goals! Wonderful things! Nothing wrong with that! 
But maybe you don't put enough time into seeking God or growing your faith. 
But you reason with yourself! As long as I am doing good things for God why does it matter! I was once told that anytime you have to justify something you shouldn't do it! And that has shown so true in my life! But that living each day doing good works but not living by faith is exactly the legalism that is very common for so many people! Now I am not saying that you should stop doing good things and spend all day praying. That is not what the Bible says either! The good deeds you do are made perfect to God by your faith! Your good works alone will not grow your relationship with Christ. Only through faith can that be done! That is why they need to work together! One is not complete without the other!


Here are some verses that show us that!


Why? Because they did not seek it by faith, but as it were, by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumbling stone.
Romans 9:32


Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?
James 2:22

But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

Romans 7:6


Hopefully you enjoy this post and get something from it! If you want to know more please comment or email! I love this topic! :)

Jabez Prayer

So while I was at my dads book signing today I found this book about Jabez Prayer for teens. I was intrigued. So I started reading. It is all about a prayer, a man names Jabez, prayed. It is in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10.

'There was a man named Jabez who was more honorable than any of his brothers. His mother named him Jabez because his birth had been so painful.He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!" And God granted him his request.'

The word Jabez means Pain. Can you imagine having a name that means pain? Woah! And in their culture a name kind of set you up for life! Solomon means peace as was the first king to rule without war. You lived out your name. And to be named Pain! Ouch! I am not sure what was going through his moms head! But still! He was stuck with it! And he prayed "Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!" What a prayer! Right? And God did!

Also, this verse is right in the middle of one of those long "The sons of him and the sons of him and so and so and him and his sons and so forth and so on" sections of the Bible. But for some reason the author stopped to say this about Jabez. So it must be important!

Bless me and expand my territory! What a perfect pair! Because what happens when God bless you? You want to share that blessing! You want to tell the world! You want to help others experience it! Expand my territory! In other words! Lord give me more people to share your blessings with! Okay so here is what most of us are thinking. "Wait a minute! More people? I know lots of people and most of them know I am a Christian. So that is enough. right? I mean lets be serious! I don't always share my blessings with those I already know! So expand! Yeah. I think I am fine the way things are!" And I totally get that! But can you imagine what would happened if you asked God for that! Yes God might totally throw you out of your comfort zone. But wouldn't it be worth it? Could you imagine what God might bless you with and what he might do through you to touch the lives of others! 

Not what you do to touch the lives of others that God blesses. But what God really does through you! Have you ever had those moments where you say just the right thing at just the right moment? And you did not seem to even think about what you said but your timing, tone, and words were just perfect? The words shocked you as they came out of your mouth because they never went through your thought process? And you saw those words touch someone? And later all you can think is wow! God used me there! Those are the moments this prayer is asking God for! When God uses you in someones life in a way only He could! It can blow me away just to think about!

And be with me in all that I do! Have you ever prayed for that? I know I haven't! You might if you are about to take a test or something big is about to happen. You ask God to be with you then. But to say everything! And mean it! I want you in every part of my life! woah! Even if we mean it with all our hearts we all have at least one area we try and hold back. Ultimately God has control over that area of our lives too but, as humans, we feel the need to control it. We really have no control there. But we fell like we should. Forgiveness and trust is are areas I sometimes have a hard time giving over to God! We all have our areas! We are all works in progress at all times. But we need to keep working on those areas and praying through them and seeking God. This prayer does just that!

Keep me from all trouble and pain! For a man named Pain that is a big deal to ask! Keep me from pain! What an amazing thing to ask! I have never prayed for that! Trouble and pain are just part of life. I never thought I could ask to be kept from it! But it is true!

I am not going to post the name of this book in my resources. It had so much good information but was so movement driven and not about the heart that I just could not post it. Praying this verse is about the heart! Meaning it with your whole heart, desiring it with your whole heart, accepting the challenges God gives you with your whole heart, and being willing to change with your whole heart! Not about getting a million teenagers to pray those words.

I am making a commitment to pray that prayer everyday for the next month. But, I would also like to know, what you think of Jabez prayer? Is it something you want to pray into your life? Why or why not?

Dating vs. Courting

So this is a hot topic issue for all Christian teens out there! So I am going to give you my opinion that you may or may not find valuable since I myself am a teen. Well, maybe you will but not your parents. So you can't tell them "Hey I can do that because Counter Cultural Teen does!" I do not want my comment boxes filled with angry parents. Although I think everything I say is things most parents would agree with. I am not a crazy out there kind of person. At least not in my beliefs. Just in my personality.

Dating is where you hang out with guys, get to like them, go out alone with them, watch moves and do all that cutesy couple stuff! And depending on who you are and how long you date you will most likely sleep together. Not to say that everyone who dates has sex, but it is more common in the dating world than in the courting world. I will save purity for another post.

Courting is where you start to like a guy, you get to know and like them, you know you really like them and most likely are going to spend the rest of your life with them before you court(some only court if they know they are going to marry that person), you do not spend anytime alone no matter the atmosphere, many refrain from kissing, and sex is saved for marriage.

So both have pros and cons! I truthfully don't agree with either of those completely. I think you should save sex for marriage. That is that! I agree totally with that and my opinion is ever still. People make mistakes and people chose to stay pure and then they mess up. Life happens. That's why I think you should stay out of situations where that could happen! But you should still spend time one on one.
Sounds like they contradict each other. right? Well not really.
to build any relationship you need time one on one. There are things you might tell or talk about when you are with just one friend that you would not talk about with a group of people! And if you are thinking about marriage it is even more important! He might want to know before the honeymoon that you are deathly scared of even the idea of robots! But you would never say that to a group of people because you would look crazy!  (I am deathly afraid of robots but please keep that to yourself! ;))
The thing to do is to not hang out in places totally alone. Don't go to his house when no one is home. Don't have him over to your house when no one is home. Do not take long road trips with just the two of you! Use common sense! But go get coffee at a coffee shop, go to a fair, walk around town, all cutesy couple stuff, sounds great! Just maybe don't drive there together if its far away ;)

Careful talking about marriage if you have only been dating a short while. And courting relationships do not always lead to marriage. He may have asked you to court him but not to marry him. He probably did not even think of marriage. Just wait on talking about the M word.

My last point, don't just date because a guy asked you out. A guy has to be a good guy. Not sleazy and trying to come on to you. But a good honest (and cute or hot always helps) guy! If he is a good guy then go for it. But still, no matter how cute or how sweet, stick to the stuff above.

So that is my very long and very opinionated first post to In The World Not Of It. About living in the world and in the time God put us in but not being like everyone else. We live above the worlds standards! We get to live for an awesome, amazing, powerful, and relational God who made the heavens and the earth and yet still wants to be a part or our small insignificant lives! Oh how he loves us! It just blows me away sometimes!

PS All this applies to guys too! Y'all can read over and just pretend that everywhere it says guys it really says gals! :)